job loss? worry + transformation

I could probably write one thousand posts on how this adoption process is challenging my insecurities and worries. I probably will write more than this one. A friend said the adoption process is transformative, and I have to say I wouldn’t mind some transformation in the worry department. I’m such a worrier. But friends, I’m learning.

Example: (sparing a few specific details)

A couple weeks ago, the five other women in my department and I were called into my supervisor’s office. She told us funding to our non-profit agency had been cut by about a third. They didn’t know exactly what this would mean for our department, but layoffs seemed pretty darn likely. I asked, “Should I start looking for another job then?,” and they all quietly nodded. Scary.

Everyone at work — including me — was really down about this. I was especially down about this because of the implications it would have on our adoption process. We’ve got a little bit of student loan money flowing in, but I am our primary income. Additionally, we’ve filled out all paperwork and gotten all employment references with my job listed on there. Basically job loss, or even change in job = redoing adoption paperwork. 

I told Dan, and I got a bit dramatic. “Maybe God is shutting doors for us now! Maybe we should stop the adoption process!” Yes, dramatic. I cried. I whined. I fretted. I was snippy and unkind to him as I felt my control of our income and stability start to slip away. But slowly, I came around to truly believing what I know to be true: If God wants this adoption to happen, He’ll make way for us to do it.

I applied for a few jobs. I talked to a few contacts. And waited.

Today, I got the official news: My job won’t be cut! None of our jobs will be cut. I am so thankful. And even more excited to move ahead with bringing this baby into our home.

So, God, I see what you did there. That was a little stressful. Please forgive me for my crying, whining, and fretting. I’m being transformed through this, and I’m ready for more. 

4 thoughts on “job loss? worry + transformation

  1. When we face times like this where we question our decisions and whether or not we should interpret it as a sign to NOT go on, more often than not it is the universe’s way of asking “how badly do you really want this?”. The things that are out of our control like potential job loss are definitely tests to this question. The only times we should ever question our decisions to move forward is when our intuition steps in and we are the ones in control. Glad to hear your job won’t be cut. As an adoptee, it makes me happy knowing there are still people out there that care about kids that aren’t physically made of their flesh and blood, but instead want to show them they care out of pure love 😉

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