Why are we adopting? Well… hm. There are lots of ways to answer that. And lots of aspects to it. Such as: Why a baby? Why international? Why Africa? Why now? It’s sometimes hard for me to verbalize. But it’s therapeutic to try to verbalize it… So here it goes.
I have desired to adopt since I was in high school. At first it started as a combination of knowing I wanted to be my mom + thinking non-Caucasian babies are almost always absolutely adorable. After following Jody’s (ongoing) story of adopting twins, I began to be stripped of my romanticized views of transracial adoption, and adoption, in general. I felt God speak very specifically to me on a couple occasions about my primary ministry in life being the best wife + adoptive mother I could be. Some people are amazing pastors, or amazing social workers, or amazing journalists, or amazing volunteers. For me, I feel called to be an amazing wife + mother.
Before meeting Dan, I had intentions of looking into adoption or foster parenting as a single woman as soon as I turned 25. Then I met Dan, and we had this conversation just a little while after we began dating. It was absolutely wonderful, and he didn’t hit the hills immediately following my confession that I wanted to adopt more than anything else. At that time, I began to consider what it would be like to adopt as a young, married couple.
And now, we’re married. Within a few months of being married — quite a bit sooner than I expected and we had discussed — I felt a desire to grow our family. I talked to Dan about it… And we decided to research adoption. (It was not an easy conversation or an easy decision-making process. See here.)
We chose adoption over trying to conceive, primarily because of our interest and passion in adoption. We feel it’s a calling, a ministry, that’s been placed before us to follow or not follow. We stopped and considered the financial and personal sacrifices we would have to make, and we decided it was doable, and doable right now. We have been blessed by amazingly supportive friends and family, who we trust will encourage us when we’re feeling down about the financial and personal sacrifices.
We decided to move forward with adoption of a baby from Africa. We decided we’d stop moving forward we got slammed in the face with a “no” or a big, insurmountable obstacle. So far, we’ve had none of that. I’m not so optimistic as to think God might not yet, in His severe mercy, put a big obstacle in our way. But He hasn’t yet. We’re moving forward to confidence, excitement, and a healthy amount of fear and nervousness. I’m gearing up to be transformed by the way this process stretches me personally and stretches my marriage.
Onward. We should soon know if this little one is a girl or a boy!