I’ve been trying to put my thoughts on engagement into understandable words. It’s just a really weird stage for a relationship. So much a stage of transition… It’s been really good, yet there are times I have wondered if engagement is something God really intended people to experience. I understand God’s purpose for marriage very well… and I even understand His purpose for dating… but in times of impatience, I’ve really questioned this engagement thing. It’s such a strange dynamic of growing closer and talking through rather intimate, important topics, yet still upholding a quality of purity and abstinence from a more complete closeness.
Talking through this with a recently married friend lately, he agreed: “Being engaged is definitely not how we were made to be.”
On Sunday night, our pastor at August Gate gave a sermon on a section in 1 John that was such a perfect reminder for me of the purpose in my waiting for two different big days. The first big day: Jesus’ second coming. We are to be confident in that day. We are to hope for that day, even amidst trials. We are to prepare for it, turning our backs to sin and allowing sanctification to occur. The times we find ourselves in now are building up to a “royal wedding” when Christ will take the Church as his bride.
The second big day: My wedding day. And so similarly, my time being engaged to Dan ought to mirror this time as we wait for Christ to return. I should hope for our wedding and marriage, even during trials that may arise during this time. I should prepare myself for marriage, turning my back on all the selfish sins I seem to have perfected during 23 years of singleness. I should be humbled by the ways my own sinfulness is being made known as we grow closer to our wedding day.
With this in mind, I’ve found peace about this waiting. As someone who seems to struggle to find purpose in waiting for the “next big thing”, I see this purpose, and I’m finding increasing joy in it. It is a joy to wait and hope and prepare for both my God and my husband.