hard

Honestly, I didn’t really believe past volunteers when they said this experience was the “hardest thing they’ve ever done.” Really? I’ve done some hard things.

But at about three weeks into my time at the Home, I understand now. This is hard. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Emotionally hard. Mentally hard. Physically hard. All kinds of hard, all at once.

There are times when almost every baby is crying.
There are times when nothing I’m doing is calming down a little one.
There are times when I’m overwhelmed by clutter, crowdedness and noise.
There are times when I revert to my introverted self and have to escape to my bedroom.
There are times when my back hurts from bending over to pick up babies all day.

But there are even more reasons to find joy in this time.

These babies are well-loved. And their mothers chose life for them. And they’re about to go home to wonderful families. And if I have to experience exhaustion to know they are well-loved, I’ll do it over and over again. I’m not above hard, sometimes tedious “work.” As dramatic as it sounds, it’s true: The babies need us to live.

And we need Him. How thankful I am to have a great God to rely on when I am weary. For His power is made perfect in my weakness. And my help comes from Him. Every day. Without fail.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. [2 Corinthians 12:9]

I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. [Psalm 121:1+2]

Beth posted something along these lines recently. And she and Su Li shared the above verses at devotions. It’s always a comfort to know the other volunteers are feeling what I’m feeling.

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4 thoughts on “hard

  1. What a wonderful testimony you will have to share with others for the rest of your life! Thank you so much for your servant heart!

  2. I’m so glad that you are considering the joys even in the hard times……this is an experience (ministry) that you will never forget…..God’s provision and faithfulness are amazing! I am prompted to pray even more diligently for you, your coworkers AND the babies. I love you and appreciate that you share so openly.

  3. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to see to that all babies are feed cuddled and love. And you what thats ok! But do know there are so many grateful grateful mommies who so much appreciate You and All for your love and time and dedication. How wonderful that you can find the joy in your exhausting moments.God bless!

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